Race relations

If you really want ratings,
try putting together these two

Now that The Amazing Race has begun the countdown to the adventure that will lead to its demise — a new family-of-four format to air this fall — let's consider a list of pairings we wish we had seen.

Please add your own in the comments section. Here are a few to get things started:

Jennifer Wilbanks and Paul Martin
Martin's ingenious idea of adorning their car with white shoe polish, crepe paper and tin cans tied to the rear bumper leads Wilbanks to drive to the first Road Block like an EMT on Adderall, quickly launching the pair into first place. But the two don't make it beyond the first Pit Stop after Martin, confusing the Race with Survivor, gives all their money to the other teams in hopes of securing votes at tribal council.

Michael Moore and Courtney Love
Quoting Love at a Detour: “Listen, you BIG FAT P***Y!! I saw you put away SEVEN Cornish hens at Cannes, so don’t expect me to believe some HALF-A***D, S**TH**E SUSHI BAR is gonna be our downfall, even if it were 15 pounds’ worth they were asking you to swallow! And I don’t F****N' CARE what sort of working conditions these people had to prepare it under and whether they have a G*****N, F****N' UUUUUNION. If I hadn't already eaten a Tupperware container of Thorazine suppositories and that jar of Vaseline in the car, I'd be ALL. OVER. THIS. EEEEEAT!!!”

Andrew Sullivan and Rosie O'Donnell
Team Gay risks an early departure from the program when the renowned writer from Provincetown breaks down and begins sobbing, refusing to complete the third Road Block: a head-to-toe body-shaving ritual. Fortunately, O'Donnell proves man enough for the two of them to go under the knife/razor/clippers.

Glen Campbell and Nick Nolte
Needs no explanation, really.

Angelina Jolie and Jennifer Aniston
Gay men love the diva posturing, straight women love to root against 'em, straight men ... Well, to quote Kramer: C-c-c-c-c-c-catfight!

Lou Sheldon and Carson Kressley
Quoting Kressley at a Detour: “I’m an abomination? Try taking a look down. I’m seconds away from trying to rope a calf in Calgary, and you’re wearing dress pants, for Oprah’s sake! And they’re pleated. If that won’t keep you out of Heaven, well, then that’s not a God I’m sure I can believe in.”

Comments

[Steve]

You won't need to start worrying, Jeff, until I start posting as many gay rights commentaries as our buddy Josh F. does. You're just upset that I tipped off the Islamists to the blasphemous nature of your Quran joke.

[beautifulatrocities]

This blog is getting so GAY

[Jimmy]

Brilliant!